Friday, July 18, 2008

New-Darwinism : The new evolutionary theory

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Warning: The following is a work of fiction. No part of it has been copied from any other work or any written/typed matter whatsoever. This is a warning because if you believe this has been copied from somewhere or if you suspect, thou shall be hang
ed! Any resemblance with any other post or with reality itself is totally co-incidental.

For copied works, culted Jokes and other arbit stuff visit Arjun Bharadwaj's blog!

Sarkashm starts here-

Prerequisites - PH640 - Nuclear Physics 2050 , CY458 The return of the Quantum mechanics.
oh ya als
o watch Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na (Genilia's in it)!



The earth as a place we see it today is a wonderful place filled with flora and fauna unique to every piece of it. That makes us all wonder, where did all of this come from? Has it been here for ever? What was it like before? What do these fossils tell us? Will Sachin Tendulkar make a good come back? Even if he does how will that have anything to do with this blog?

I bring to you the answers to these questions above.
I have conducted a day long research lasting from yesterday 5:00 PM to today 7:00 AM and have come to a conclusion that creationism theor
y cannot be correct. Most of the religious heads don't agree to this statement above. The rational and the intelligent people do not accept the creationism theory.

I have managed to come up with a theory that is fine with everyone (Aam Aadmi included). I call it the New-Darwinism theory. The theory which suggests human like creativity in evolution.

Consider the earth as the system, the surroundings as the surroundings and the universe as universe. Now there is one god for every planet and henc
e one for earth. He takes care of every one. There is only one god but there are 234,342,526,346,346,324,379 demigods.(source unknown and unwanted) they live in the heavens. the heavens are at an altitude of 36 km from the surface of the earth, in fact there are three heavens and they keep watch of the earth.(Philosophy ends here)

The God s
ends his demigod to the earth once in every hundred years for their project work and they scan the entire world of all the organisms and report the problems faced by them. At the end of that particular year, god comes down to earth and makes small modifications in the structure of the animals making their life easier. That is how organisms evolve. The principle of god wins the votes of religious people and the principle of evolution wins intelligent people.(No offense)

There are more phenomenon to be explained here. The phenomenon which indirectly suggests the existence of a human like mind behind the creation.
  • Evolution is a slow and an ever lasting process - So is our nation's progress, the reason: corruption! corruption among the demigods/government officials. Infact the corruption is much better than it was before. All god could make from 4 billion to 1billion years """BC""" was a silly jelly-fish that had only two types of tissues, 1 for propulsion and the other for offence.
  • Humans despite millions of years of evolution aren't immune to disease or other invisible predators -So is Windows, reason: god is perfect.
  • Certain creatures that had well established power in the ecosystem are now extinct - So are letters (emails have replaced them), test cricket(money has replaced it) and Prakrit language (Kannada rocks!)
  • Evolution has brought about changes that are impossible to think of - Well who would have thought that a monkey would change and over the years go to outer space or invent the Internet or master the DNA. Reason: God is great! Similarly Chinese have built the Great wall of China that even today no government can think of!
  • Humans were no where in the picture and has suddenly managed to take over the world - So as in the case of Windows. Cockroaches (penguins) will take over soon.
---to be continued in the next line

  • Some animals have organs which are totally useless created just for the expression of creativity for eg the antlers of a Thompson's Gazelle is totally useless and hence I consider it to be the signature of the person who upgraded it! A similar example is found in the Simpsons notice the MG on Homer's image
  • Elephants/mammoths don't seem to have evolved from any other living creature and they are believed to have an aquatic past. They seem to have been suddenly created out of nowhere --- clear indication of human like creativity for eg the origin of the word 'quiz' is unknown or may be the word appeared out of no where.(well I needed more points to support the theory and added this as one)
Conclusions:
None.

14 comments:

Arun said...

Hey... this is exactly what Im believeing..but not the mythological way you have told..This is the proof that was being searched for 10,000 years tat u n me think in the same way. Of course tat is b'coz u need to be sarkastic as ur name suggest..else Manmohan Singh will loose his term. And showing the same (non) mercy makes God fair and just but not perfect dude..:)...anyway ur posts are as hot as an iron box... Keep it away !!!

Boneywasawarriorwayayix said...

copied??
:o
WTF!!

kash said...

U ve culted SMS PJs from various sources.
like PJ is momentum in J direction.
Just kidding da LIte theesko!

kaushik krishna said...

ur passion for genelia seems 2 b increasing..........jus kidding...

ure blog is really good.....its packed with humour and thats wat i like the most.......

keep posting good stuffs......

keep goinggggggggg

Curly said...

ya... but i don't think arjun singh is doing vote banks politics..he's doing good to the nation da.... it'll make everyone happy......
nway..... those who rock will rock anywhere whether they get reserved out dose'nt matter!

AND I think that ur theory is better than darwin's theory....so we can replace it in the text books....
I vote!

kash said...

woohoo!

AKILA said...

Humans are mortal (My implication of Darwin's theory) But blogs are not.

As long as the mountains flow
and the grass is white,
your blog will glow
with humorous delight.

kash said...

:x playing my own game :x

Vinay Hegde said...

'despite millions of years of evolution aren't immune to disease or other invisible predators -So is Windows'
Lol! good one!

Penguins and NOT cockroaches will take over this world... :P

Hmmm... as far as Arjun Singh is concerned, he does not deserve my comments...

anirudh said...

wellllll........sounds a bit realistic..lemme guess..should i go with humorous:D or excavation of a fact of life:O....good that you got us guessing on this dude..keep up your blogging...

ramya said...

so y is cash-yep so interested in evolution problem :P

nice post btw!!

fref said...

dude blog is good da...

fref said...

nice dude ...n try 2 put away pjs...

kirtika said...

Sometime in the near future..the following "evolution" fundes and corelations will also get added to this list:
**Permanent deformations:Adaptations,over the course of time,lead to deformed organs...similar to the deformations undergone by certain CS231 students (me atleast) of having their jaws permanenty in the widegrin position thanks to Sir-Kash's live-from-lab commentary on Buddhism,One-Hostel theory & all foobar under the sun ...
**Vestigial organs:The coccyx in humans and other organs ..blah blah blah...similar again to certain cs231 students whose ears have become defunct coz they only hear "Read my blog" thanks to the statement being repeated every alternate second...

TNR fart aside...shhhtudd stuff..had a nice time reading :)