Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Hostel nites

"" ---- Oscar wilde

This is a continuation from my previous article. Well Duh!

One of the other hostels that I visited was JAM. The theme there was 'confusion'. At the entrance they had put up some dried grass, suggesting a barn yard theme. Inside, it was banyan tree themed. Then there was a crematory theme at the side. Then there was this pink coloured entrance drink. All the tube lights were wrapped with pink paper suggesting a hello kitty theme as I had predicted. The arbitrary sounds of woman shrieking at the top of her voice and zombies moaning at the bottom of his voice, that they had kept playing at the entrance did not match any of the other themes. Confusion it was! People weren't sure who was in charge of organizing the hostel night. There was a great confusion over who was in power. It was one among the literary secretary, the general secretary, the warden, and the Army. The hostel warden finally showed that he was all-powerful, by throwing a mango up in the air, in analogy with firing of a gun-shot, and marked the beginning of the hostel night.

Jam nite of 2009 will forever be known as the great ice-cream disaster. The jolly-olly man lost his patience and started shouting around at innocent civilians when asked for ice-cream. People criticised him for his actions, little thinking that he had family and children too. They needed all the boxes of ice-cream he was trying to save. The ice-cream part of the hostel night suggested the Thirupathi theme. The queue started all the way from the central library.

Then there was Pamba night. Pamba hostel was so small that they could not have caterers to prepare food. They did have a couple of waiters to serve food instead. There were room services and all the people had to enjoy Pamba night sitting in their rooms. The food was brought from SAC and served. Eventually they were all out of the Cheetos packets, the Bourbon biscuits and the five-star chocolates. Lots of people left the hostel hungry and headed out to Godav and Sarayu which offered a promising dinner. There was no theme. There was just a banner they had put up at the entrance of the hostel saying "This is Pamba night Please Note: our theme is 'Dark night' ".

The song M.Tech chali M.S chali was played in the hostel, indicating the departure of the old people. In the Music room of Pamba they held their cultural events. Some amateur bands practised some songs. CCW stall operator turned chairman Money and Model turned actor Idly gave their speeches. Money, the president of the region called staff occupied hostel-zone (POK) gave a speech that went something like "Who are you? Who are you guys? What do you want? Who are you? Why have you brought me here? Show me your ID cards. Who are you? Approach me through the cultural secretaries for things like these. What do you guys want..."

After that there was Sharaav night, it was held in a theatre because The Taj, where they live does not have space for over 20 people and they did not want it to get dirty. Yours arbitrarily had also been invited by a friend along with a few other members of the geek squad. The theatre was Jam packed, with more number of guys turning up than girls. The dean made a great observation that all the boys had unusually dressed up well. They were clean and neat, and the smell of the rotting dead deer around them had totally vanished. It is estimated that 10,000 liters of AXE deodorant was used up on that day.

As usual there were a lot of uninvited monkeys that turned up. This time they were after the ice-cream. Some of them took away whole boxes of ice-cream to their caves and burrows not caring about the high calorific content in them.

After the grand feast there was a guided trip to The Taj in the Amazon. On any ordinary night / day, even monkeys aren't allowed to enter The Taj. There are sniper operators at the terrace with 'shoot monkeys on sight' orders (to prevent monkeys to enter from the top) and since most monkeys don't have ID cards, they can't enter from the front either. This is the only night in the calendar where males are allowed in the hotel. Even the T.T room has only broken balls in it.

The Amazon women who lived in The Grand Taj had over 50 people working there, for the maintenance of their hotel. An emergency meeting is called every time a stain is seen of a wall. The Taj had an unusually large number of mirrors or probably the theme was china-town and mirrors were some how linked to ceramics. Another parallel is that they had been put there to cover the stains on the wall. Either way, one could see herself self every-where. Whenever a batch passes out of Tapti, the pass-outs plant a tree. There is a rumour that the Amazon women passing out, fit a mirror on the wall instead.

In the so-called quadrangle which is as big as a single room in any boys hostel, the Amazon women had organised a Juke-box. The same songs played in the other hostels were played here too. A few profs and a few wives danced there. The RGs had also been put up there. There were a few uninvited bachelors waiting outside the hotel, waiting for a miracle to happen. Nothing happened.

This was a great week, Alak and Ganga left. Lots of unnecessary criticism still left.

Mu ha ha haaa ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
--- Oscar Wilde

Monday, April 6, 2009

Ye olde Hostel Knight

What was the question again?
-Oscar wilde

After being told by a number of people that my previous post sucked, I've finally removed it. This post is about my hostel night which was yesterday. About the title, when some freshie girl was told the name of the latest bat-man movie that was going to be aired in the Open Air Theater, she replied saying "omg! Do they screen such movies in public?"

A hostel night is basically a night where arbitrary people from their hostels go to a hostel in search of food and shelter and to listen to the song 'Gasolene'. That is how I would describe it, other people have other views. It also involves socialising like guys inviting girls over to their hostels. For strategic people like Barney ( My computer science friend from my hostel), a hostel nite involves calling one guy from each hostel so that you get called back. For some, this is the only time of the year where they get to visit Sharav, well for the lucky ones :( :'( sob!

:) A hostel night generally involves a theme, except the hostels for the elderly (Krishna, Cauvery ... ) where they are too lazy to think of a theme; and some hostels like Pamba, where they don't have enough man-power to think of a theme. Some hostels like Brahmaputra don't have a hostel nite at all! They consider it an inauspicious activity. Legend has it that in the Brahmaputra hostel nite of 1933, monkeys invaded their hostel and borrowed all the food that had been prepared for the night, and eventually died eating human food. Sindhu doesn't have a hostel night because people there are too old to stay awake during the night, they have a hostel day instead during Yugadi where they serve food from a local Mutt ( Matha in Kannada). Mahanadi tried organising one but no catarers were ready to cater just 13 people. Mandakini is flooded through out the year so they don't get lucky either. They organise their hostel nites in Taramani, the guest house.

Back to the theme, the theme of our hostel nite was boats. Half of the 2nd year naval-arc junta are found in Tapti and hence 'boats' was chosen as the theme. Decoration included having a huge picture of a boat in front of the hostel, a part of it had to be eventually torn to let people in, although the monkeys could enter from the top. Inside the hostel you could find the picture of a steering wheel stuck in the noticeboard, just like its stuck in a real ship. There was a picture of a zombie at the front, which was intended to scare people. There were empty bottles hanging from above just like they show in the movies. The hostel also had the red-carpet, found in the modern fishing boats.

After entering the hostel, one would feel as if he is in a real boat, with caterers dressed like boatsmen, one leg shorter than the other, with parrots on their shoulders. Food was kept in barrels and served with swords. There were lots of chairs arranged, just like in a boat. A ramp had also been setup, where people sang and danced. Captain Jack sparrow was made to walk the ramp and sing a song from 'life in a metro' at knife-point. He cried and cried and people cheered. Of course, there was some excellent food from the 'excellent' mess. Since the day was auspicious, we had to pay thrice the usual amount for the food.

Then there were RGs that had been put up. In Tapti they were so early that they got drenched in rain the previous night. They were then dried in the washing-machine drier on that day. They finally brought it at around 10:00 IST and hung in our garden for drying. Not all of the RGs dried in time. 1 of them couldn't make it.

At the end all boatsmen did what all they do best, and ended up waking in a hangover the next day.

The hostel nite was quite good. Our hostel nite affairs sec, Muvva had done a great job. The 60 lacks we spent was all worth it. 15 lacks out of the 60 were spent on the ambiance.

Old glass bottles that were hanging at the veranda 1 lakh rupees.
The Pink coloured paper that covered the tubelight there - 50 thousand rupees.
Pieces of thermocoal for the steering wheel / zombie - 3 lakh rupees.
The picture of the boat at the hostel entrance - 7 lakh
The tailor who was hired to cut a part of the picture - 30 thousand
Pirate masks, parrots, barrels, swords, captain-Jack-sparrow - rest of the money
The bamboo stick and the dirty old black cloth meant to look like sails stuck outside the hostel - priceless

There are some things that money could not buy. For everything else they have the hostel general budget.

On the next episode of the Hostel Knight, we will give you a review of Jam, the theme is expected to be one among hello kitty and the teletubbies. We will find out only tomorrow.

Oh hostel nitaa? Appadiya? Naa kuda varuve!
Rajaanie Konth